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Humans do not escape mistakes. And in that mistake, it may have slipped an unspoken apology. Shame, fear, guilt, all filled my heart 's niche to this day. Just a word of apology may not reverse the way it was. But that 's where i learned to accept. Dear mother... I 'm sorry that Adek hasn' t been able to look after mom like Mba Oki and Mba Shindy. I 'm sorry that Adek can only trouble you all. Dear Papa... Even if you 're still up there, your apology won' t stop. I 'm sorry if Adek disappointed Papa a lot. I 'm sorry if Adek is still unreliable to this day. And sorry that Adek wasn 't there at Papa' s last moment.